Brain should be the symbol of Love. Not the heart. — Chapter 3
After understanding what causes attraction and lust, we will try to find out what seals the deal. We will close this series with the final stage of Love which has crossed passionate and rewarding stages. If you didn’t get a chance to read the first two chapters follow the below links.
Hormone behind Lovesickness
There is one more hormone which plays a vital role in Love, especially in unrequited Love or during a breakup. One that has direct impact on your mood and appetite. Serotonin. When you receive reply from your crush or Likes in your facebook profile picture, Serotonin flows in. When Serotonin pumps up, your mood is elevated and you lose your appetite. Imagine what happens when your love is unrequited or your lover broke up with you. Serotonin drops to extreme low levels ruining your mood and increasing your appetite. Where do you run to? The refrigerator of course. Evil dopamine whispers, “You deserve more. Like this Ben & Jerry’s or that Big bar of Lindt chocolate. Reward yourself darling.”
One more interesting thing about Serotonin is that it soars high when you soar high in your status. That’s the way our evolution wants us. Because it leads to better survival. Also this happens when your partner attains status or power. This is why when your partner says he received a promotion, your mood is good.
Okay I hope we have covered almost all aspects of Brain being the monarch of Love. Now to finish this off in a pleasant note, we will discuss about a special feeling which every new born baby attains by birth. Attachment.
Attachment and Oxytocin
Your love becomes unbreakable when it attains a stage where your brain produces Oxytocin for your partner
This hormone is mostly produced during childbirth and breastfeeding. This creates an unbreakable bond between a mother and her child. Oxytocin levels have direct impact on the sucking behavior and duration of breastfeeding.
Oxytocin is also called the “cuddling harmone”. It gushes in when you are cuddling with your loved one. Just cuddling and caring. No sex involved. Just like a baby bonds with it’s mother when they cuddle.
There is this one downside with Oxytocin we should be careful about, particularly women. Rise in Oxytocin results in increasing love for people in our already-established cultural groups and making those unlike us seem more foreign. Resulting in ethnocentrism or hatred towards the people you haven’t had a bond with. So during your last trimester and during first few months after childbirth, there is a very good chance you are going to show some hostility towards people outside your family.
So this concludes our in depth analysis on why Brain should be the symbol of love and not the heart. And my advice to all those simple human beings out there,
Spend more time with your loved one, on the bed, in the kitchen and if they permit spend time in the bathroom too. Do not rush into creating an offspring before you reach the attachment stage. Make love the night you have an argument some how. Let the love hormones take care of (disable) your rational thinking prefrontal cortex. Work on it, I know it is tough but if you don’t do this first aid, your Love is going to be in ICU soon.
And if you don’t have a job in which you can balance your work life and your real life, just quit. Or do it alone. Because you might have the control over your love hormones, don’t expect it from your partner too. Because these hormones are programmed to do one thing only, survival of human race. They are not designed to help you accomplish your deadlines or quarterly target.
