Brain should be the symbol of Love. Not the heart. — Chapter 2
Why do we feel euphoric when someone reciprocates our love? Why do we feel those butterflies in our stomach when we date the one we like and our appetite goes for a long walk? Why is it we feel happy when we cuddle with our loved one at home? Why the same doesn’t happen when we catch our train to work in the morning?
The suspects in this case my lord are dopamine and norepinephrine.
Like we have seen in the previous chapter, all our DNAs try to push us towards survival. Some of these hormones take extreme measures to make this happen.
Dopamine the real cupid behind attraction
Dopamine among these hormones is the reason why you crave the things that are good for you. When you spend time with your loved one instead of going to work, dopamine kicks in and says, “This is what you are meant to do”. Because our primary purpose is survival and the only way to do this is to, “eat, sleep and make love”. That’s the reason when you see a tasty dessert, your brain whispers to you, “You deserve this, take it”.
Whenever you kiss or make love, dopamine flows in and makes us euphoric and energetic. If you don’t have a partner you can still cheat your brain and withdraw some dopamine using another method. I hope you already know it.
The production of dopamine attracts you to your partner.
Whenever you see them your reward pathway lights up. It makes you so happy and so you want to be with them. Conversely when your partner is acting like an asshole, your brain knows you will not be happy in their presence. So there is no dopamine and hence no attraction.
When your partner acts exactly the way you liked dopamine kicks in, increasing your attraction towards them. Some want their partner to be calm and composed, polite and caring. Some prefer a macho or a weirdo. Some want their partner to do crazy kinky stuff to stimulate the dopamine in their brain. So when you see them the way you wanted to see them, you want to cuddle. And when you cuddle dopamine rewards you. And the attraction grows manifold every time you do this.
Fixing a broken relationship is simple
Every time you are torn apart by a fight, the attraction fades. So this is the stage where you feel Love has left you both. No it’s not true, you can fix this if you want to. First accept the fact you both have been acting like assholes. Then you both start doing things your partner likes. Simple. But you have to do it for a longer period of time. Until your dopamine rewards you for seeing them or their lips or some of their body parts.
Reason for the adrenaline rush — Norepinephrine
When dopamine pumps in it also brings along another hormone into our system. Have you ever felt the adrenaline rush in you when you make love. Or even when you kiss someone for the first time? This is due to Norepinephrine or widely known as noradrenalin. It alerts your body to extreme levels like it does during a Fight. You can feel an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate.
So in proper doses love will increase your human capabilities. While overdose can result in jealousy and irrational behavior. The reason behind this is Love turns off our prefrontal cortex. It makes us do crazy things which we may regret when the love hormones stop. Just like the next day morning after a party full of drugs.
How being in love triggers a lack of appetite and a breakup does the opposite? What takes love to a motherly bonding level? What causes the attachment? Check out the next chapter.
